Sunday, February 8, 2009

The Circle of Life

So in one day I got to feed both my new three week old niece and my dad.

My new niece is Savannah. She is a doll. She reminds me a lot of my sister. I see a lot of my sister in her other two kids, but for some reason I see more of her in this one. Not that that makes any difference. I love all of them. So far this one seems to be as easy going as the other two. She eats and sleeps. I haven't seen much crying or fussing.

I don't know what it is about babies, but why is it you can love something so much that doesn't talk or contribute to society or really have much personality at all. Maybe it's just that she's part of my sister and you can transfer the love you have for a sibling off on their offspring. I don't know. I just know my heart gets all squeezy and tight when I hold her.

Feeding a parent is not the same thing as feeding a baby. I think you do it out of the same reasoning. You love them and they are helpless and you want to take care of them, but it doesn't evoke the same emotions. For the most part I feel surprisingly little. Not little, more like nothing. The scary absence of feeling cause you know if you didn't block it off you would feel really bad and sick.

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